Parent-Child Bonding

I've been thinking about this issue lately and I asked my husband Andrew, "What do you think constitute a parent-child bonding?" His reply came in 3 parts: (i) Being able to talk and spend time (doing activities), (ii) Physical attachment (eg hugging or having child snuggle up to dad/mum) and (iii) Unconditional love. And he cites (iii) as the most important ingredient.
As I reflect upon it, I try to see the difference between myself as a step-parent and a parent. (i) is easily achieveable given time and effort...however, (ii) and (iii) are a little tricky. In my case where I inherit the kids when they were around 10 years old or so, physical closeness doesn't happen overnight. In fact, it's a conscious effort (I feel) to put my arms around my step-child and it probably works both ways where the child doesn't run to me spontaneously for a hug... and I know I need not feel guilty...it's just the way things turn out.
As for (iii), while I readily accept my step-kids as my own children and rise up to the occasion of being an instant parent after marriage, the blatant truth is that it's not unconditional love that I feel for them but greater than that is the sense of responsibility I have in me to want to do what's best for them. This includes taking care of their daily physical needs and simply just 'doing things' for them. And I guess sometimes unconsciously, the kids feel as tho' they need to do 'some things' to be 'accepted' by me...as if my love for them comes tagged with terms & conditions! Unconditional love, as defined by my beloved Andrew, means that despite being good or bad, the child KNOWS he/she is accepted by the parent and vice versa. Love is indeed a mystifying language...

Why religion is important to me...

Becoming a step-parent then parent has taught me many things.
Someone once told me that the 2 most difficult phases of one's life are (1) growing up as a teenager and (2) parenting a teenager. I've gone thru (1) with a strict dad and am going thru (2) now with a teenager who thinks I'm too strict?? Irony??? Not really... Like the Chinese joke says, "The policemen in the past used to wear shorts".
Despite a mere 19 years age gap, which is really short compared to most biological parents, there are things Samantha does that I can't comprehend. Among other things, I can't accept her 'aggressiveness' towards boys...how she calls them instead of the other way round, initiates outings with them, goes to meet the boys first before going out together (as tho' picking them up), etc... To me, girls should be more reserved to maintain our integrity and command respect. Her 'hard-up' ways (almost to the extent of acting cheap) really irk me to the bones...
Therefore, my religion is really important to me. As a Christian, I believe that God is in charge of our lives. I take heart that while I may not be able to control/know everything that my child does, God is able to do so and that even when things happen, He allows it cuz He has a special purpose for it. As His faithful servant and follower, I can only count on prayers that God will do His Will according to what's best for us...